Opioids have left a generation of children raised by grandparents. We need help. | Opinion

When my grandchild was born, I had no idea that my life as I knew it would change forever. My instincts told me there was something wrong, yet my limited understanding of opioid abuse made it difficult to identify the harsh reality, that both parents were addicted to painkillers.

Our family was in a crisis as my husband and I quickly stepped in to save our beautiful infant grandchild from becoming collateral damage from the opioid crisis. Suddenly, we had a baby and no crib, no diapers, no baby clothing, no formula and no idea where to start. I felt isolated. The stigma of addiction, that the child I raised could not raise their child, made me feel ashamed. No one knocks on your door with a lasagna for a family in this kind of crisis.

We were the baby’s safety net as the parents’ addiction progressed over years. Opioid addiction is like none other; it takes a person’s soul and changes them into someone you don’t even recognize. Multiple attempts at rehab could not save them from Big Pharma’s insidious trap. Within four years the father died of a heroin overdose and the mother’s battle raged on.

'Will I still be able to live with you?'

When my grandchild’s father died, although visitation rights were terminated eight months prior, I knew that I had to tell my then 4-year-old grandchild this terrible news. Their only response was, “Will I still be able to live with you?” I said yes, and that was all they needed to hear.

I found that working and caring for a child was harder than when I raised my children. Managing day care drop-off requirements, packing lunches, on-time pickups and all the preparation involved was overwhelming.

I resigned from my position. Less income meant more stress when paying for custody legal fees and inpatient rehab admissions, not to mention the cost to raise a healthy child.

According to Generations United, more than 2.4 million children are being raised by grandparents or other relatives because their parents are unable to raise them. Between 2002 and 2019, grandparents reporting parents’ substance use as a reason for caring for their grandchildren jumped from 21% to 40%.

The states with the highest percentage of grandfamilies (grandparents and other relatives raising children) are also the states with the highest opioid prescribing rates.

In 2022, a nationwide agreement was reached to resolve all opioid settlement litigations made against major U.S. pharmaceutical companies, resulting in a $26 billion settlement to assist states with their opioid recovery efforts. All states, four U.S. territories and Washington, DC, recently approved an additional $7.4 billion settlement with Purdue Pharma, maker of the highly addictive semisynthetic opioid OxyContin.

This tap of settlement money is supposed to serve as an “abatement” fund, to clean up after the opioid crisis destruction. However, I find it astonishing that from the beginning of settlement actions to today, no consideration has been given to the families and children who have been left to pick up the pieces.

Grandparents and other relatives play an essential role in breaking the cycle of addiction and raising healthy children. We save the child welfare system $10.5 billion each year. Without grandparent caregivers, the child welfare system would collapse.

Compared with children in foster care with non-relatives, children in grandfamilies have more stability, better mental and behavioral health outcomes and more feelings of belonging and acceptance. They feel loved with family and learn cultural traditions.

Grandfamilies that formed because of the opioid crisis need support to be successful. Children of the opioid crisis often require mental health services. Although grandparents protect them and help mitigate the impact of childhood trauma, their transition to Medicare moves children off of private health insurance.

Social Security survivor benefits only apply to children who have been adopted by their grandparents – another expensive legal maneuver than can cost grandparents thousands of dollars.

Alabama is leading the way in helping grandfamilies

Programs to include grandfamilies in the settlement are operating in Alabama, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and other states.

This is just a drop in the bucket despite the fund’s stated use for “opioid remediation uses” defined in the settlement agreement as care, treatment and other programs and expenditures. This includes providing enhanced support for "children and family members suffering trauma" because of addiction in the family.

Alabama was the first to be successful. Three Area Agencies on Aging (AAA) serving 15 counties in the state were identified to receive about $280,000 as part of a pilot that, if proven effective, we hope will go statewide. It took almost a year to get the money to the AAAs. They are now entering the pilot phase so grandfamilies can apply for a onetime payment of $500 per child. (This is below the $1,000 to $2,000 that advocates said would be needed to help families with the unexpected expenses of raising a child.)

The dollar amount pales in comparison with the nearly $100 million Alabama has received from the opioid settlement. The help being offered to grandfamilies is a start, but more needs to be done.

Grandparents across the country have further stepped up to form lay support networks and scour agencies for resources to help one another with essential needs. They tirelessly advocate for more support.

My advocacy brought me to the U.S. Senate Committee on Aging where I poured my heart out, but it seemed like only a few were really listening.

It’s time for energy put into stigmatizing opioid addiction to be refocused on pressing policymakers and settlement leaders who continue to turn their backs on grandfamilies. Ask your elected officials, “What have you done to help the true victims of the opioid crises, all of these children in the care of their grandparents who have been left behind?”

Elizabeth Mateer is a retired grandmother raising her teenage grandchild.