The Crumbl Cookies CEO, a viral gay rumor and what we can learn in the aftermath

What TikTok video sparked rumors about Crumbl CEO's sexuality?

What do mental health experts say about public speculation on sexuality?

Which celebrities faced similar rumors about their sexuality?

Crumbl CEO Sawyer Hemsley came out of the closet in a recent social media post. But likely not the way he wanted to.

"Over the past few years I’ve come to understand and accept that I’m gay," he wrote on InstagramAug. 26. "It’s taken me a long time to really process this part of myself and even longer to feel comfortable enough to say it out loud. For most of my life, I didn’t have the clarity to answer the questions or respond to the rumors."

The rumors Hemsley alluded to seem to include influencer Grant Gibbs' Aug. 22 TikTok video, where he speculated about the CEO's sexuality. "I quite literally have never seen a gayer man," he wrote in the post's caption. The video has racked up more than 18.8 million views. Commenters piled on: "I just checked the 'crumbl cookie ceo' after seeing him for 2 seconds I already knew." "I’ve never had my gaydar go off so fast." Gibbs has since (half-jokingly) apologized to Hemsley in a follow-up video.

Celebrities and public figures regularly face speculation about their sexuality: Shawn Mendes, Kit Connor, Khalid to name a few. But should they, especially when they're still figuring it out? And do they need to say anything about it either way?

The short answer: No. Because the consequences, especially if someone is pushed out of the closet, could be dire, mental health experts say. Take one spin through social media or Google anti-LGBTQ+ legislation in the U.S. and see why.

Speculating about sexuality is intrusive

Connor, star of Netflix's "Heartstopper," came out as bisexual several years ago after feeling immense pressure.

"Back for a minute. I'm bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself," Connor wrote in a short tweet. Fans had accused the star of "queerbaiting" – when a straight, cisgender person seems to cash in on LGBTQ+ fashion, music, acting roles and more.

That debacle highlighted what happens when queerbaiting goes awry. "There is a vast difference between audiences raising legitimate concerns about exploitative, LGBTQ-mediated representations and queerbaiting and online trolling …" Melvin Williams, associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University, previously told USA TODAY.

The same can be said for singer Mendes, who said in Oct. 2024: "The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone." For a star who hasn't actually said anything definitive about his sexuality, countless social media posts sure like talking about it with no evidence. Sure, anyone is free to discuss what they'd like privately. But talking about someone's sexuality in a public forum when they're not comfortable with it is a whole other kind of intrusion.

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Hemsley experienced this firsthand, too.

Sawyer Hemsley doesn't owe us an answer

Shouldn't celebrities, influencers and those otherwise in the public eye expect questioning about their personal lives, unlike the average person?

Yes and no. "The nature of celebrity journalism is to glean as much information as possible about celebrities we arguably know too well," Williams explained. "Still, celebrities and non-celebrities do not owe the public a confirmation or explanation about their sexual orientations, and disclosures should remain a matter of choice."

Experts say people should never feel obligated to come out, especially when their safety is at risk. And even when they are more privileged like Hemsley, people also shouldn't come out if they're not ready. And "ideally, we are working to create a world without boxes or closets to 'come out of' because we would never be expected to be anything other than who we say we are," Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. "Until that shift happens, we must intentionally choose who we wish to invite into a celebration of our identities."

Hemsley didn't come out as planned – the way the cookie should've crumbled, if you will. But his coming out post says it all: "At the end of the day, I’m deeply thankful: for the opportunities I’ve had, for the people who support me, and for the chance to live and share my story. It’s a journey of growth and honesty, and one I’ll never stop being grateful for."