Her dream of becoming a trad wife fell apart. Now, she's an OnlyFans millionaire.

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At 36, Elaina St. James says, she thought all her dreams were about to come true.

The husband, the children, the white picket fence she'd longed for since childhood − they were within reach. Or so she thought. After four years, she says, the man she once considered her happily ever after dumped her via email − and her views changed drastically.

Now, St. James lives a life far from what she dreamed about. At 58, she's an adult content creator on OnlyFans, a subscription-based website where she says she's made over $1.5 million since joining in April 2021.

Before then, St. James says, she'd aspired for the lifestyle touted by today's self-proclaimed "trad wives" (short for "traditional wife"). She pictured herself as a homemaker, subservient to her husband. If the trend had been around back then, she thinks perhaps she would have even been a trad wife influencer.

St. James knows her journey − from a "trad wife in training," as she calls it, to OnlyFans model − is an unusual one. After all, most women neither identify as trad wives nor work in adult content − two camps that seem to be at odds when it comes to how women should express sexuality and seek fulfillment.

Still, St. James believes people can learn from her story. The way she sees it, her life offers both a warning to those who think they have it all figured out and hope to those who think it's too late to make a change. It also highlights the pressures women face amid a surge of conflicting labels and world views.

"Women need to understand that nothing is permanent, and that's good and bad," she says. "As long as you are alive, you can reinvent. And that's to men, too. ... You can, at some point, decide that your happiness is more important than somebody else's − especially if that somebody else doesn't treat you with love and respect."

'This is what I've been waiting for my whole entire life'

Growing up, St. James says she first dreamed of becoming an actress or singer, like her childhood heroes Cher, Dolly Parton or Carol Burnett.

But the conservative culture around her influenced her views, she says. So instead, she set her sights on marriage and family, pushing any career aspirations to the wayside.

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"I was always told early on... that a woman has a shelf life as far as being attractive, and that was around 40. And then, you become invisible," St. James says. "You have one value, and it's your looks."

St. James worked various jobs while waiting patiently for Prince Charming. Eventually, she says he arrived, via Match.com.

The man, a handsome lawyer, she says, wanted a wife − check. He also wanted kids − check. In short, he was everything St. James thought she wanted.

"It was like, 'This is the lottery. I've won the lottery,' " St. James says. "This is what I've been waiting for my whole entire life. This is worth the wait. This is the person.' "

"I was living with him. I was taking care of everything − everything a traditional wife would take care of," she says. "I was building a home for us and for our future children."

Eventually, St. James says, his controlling nature started to surface. He didn't want her talking to their neighbors, for instance. She felt cracks form in their relationship. At one point, she recalls, they decided to live separately for a month. Not long after, she says, she got an email from him ending the relationship.

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"I've never spoken to him since," St. James says. "What do you do when you get an email like that? ... I was just absolutely floored."

St. James' worst fear had come true: She was unmarried and childless at 40. Her lifelong dream crushed, what was she to do now?

Trad wives, OnlyFans and the pressures women face

The years that followed, she says, were brutal.

St. James struggled financially working various jobs. At one point, she says, she was making about $30,000 a year, with no benefits. On top of it, she says, she also had to provide for her son, whom she conceived through sperm donation.

In 2021, St. James came across a People magazine article about a woman who made $100,000 a month on a website called OnlyFans. She thought it sounded like a scam.

But her curiosity was piqued. She began researching.

"I was almost propping my eyelids open at night. I was obsessed with finding out what this OnlyFans was," she says. " 'People really do this? People pay for this? What is this? This is crazy.' "

A few months later, she decided to take the plunge and join the website. Leaning into her age, she says, helped her find a niche − and she's since exploded in popularity.

St. James says joining OnlyFans does come with sacrifices. She lives with deep concerns about her privacy and safety. She receives violent threats regularly. So do her family members. People in her life have also started treating her differently, including her son's teachers.

Still, she says she wouldn't trade her life for the subservient housewife role she once wanted.

"I went through the withdrawal when you're in that position and then you're tossed aside," St. James says. "Your whole existence was about pleasing somebody else, and then that person rejects you, and you're like, 'Well, now what?'"

To St. James, the emergence of trad wives and OnlyFans models speaks to the financial hardships women face. Trad wives cope with this by seeking to marry men who will provide for them. Similarly, many women turn to OnlyFans because they see it as a path to financial stability. St. James, after all, was one of them.

"People are scared right now. It's harder to live as a single woman," she says. "There is a point in a woman's life, in most women's lives, where the thought of being a mom and that being a central role to you is very, very appealing."

And though various and competing labels for women are popular right now, it's important to keep in mind there are many different ways to live a happy life.

"I lived it," St. James says of the traditional role she dreamed of. "And, when it went away ... I was devastated."